Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Gym Beasts

I truly love/hate to be the one to bring it up, but every gym has one. It lurks behind you as you are exercising, taps its foot in front of whatever machine you are using, and is usually in worse shape than anyone there. That's it, folks. The gym beast. Usually a middle aged woman of Caucasian descent, the gym beast feels that she owns the place and that each piece of exercise equipment is at her disposal. All the time.

Cut to the Fitness Center at my school. I encountered such a gym beast earlier. After signing up for the 12 pm slot on the elliptical machine, I noticed that the young man using it was a few minutes behind. He apologized and asked if I minded that he had a few more minutes to go. In generally good spirits I decided to use this as an opportunity to get my strength training a bit early. I then hop on the then-empty elliptical and continue on with my workout. Time flies, and before I know it I have four measly minutes left on my workout. The other elliptical machines around me are empty, as it is the time of the day where people are going back to class (except for me).

Cue slobbering gym beast.

Gym beast demands I surrender my elliptical in the nastiest tone she can possibly muster for a complete stranger. I smile through my sweat and ask politely if she minds if I finish the now 2 and a half minutes I have left or if she might like to go on one of the other six elliptical machines that are right next to the one I am using.

Gym beast DEMANDS this elliptical because this elliptical is the one she LIKES to use (for those of you who don't use the beacon fitness center, they are all identical). As gym beast follows this with a nasty motion, a decision is made. I climb off, clean off the machine as slowly as I possibly can, and then I relish in climbing on the elliptical right next to her and staring at her as I start a new workout for 15 minutes. Watching her face scrunched up in what is clearly a false sense of gym-ownership, I decide I won't let gym beast win. I then climb off after the extended work out and graciously inform her that her attitude motivated me to do an extra thirteen minutes. Filthy.

Those of you who know me also know I don't like being judged for my appreciation of the graphic novel culture. Gym beast was judging my batman sweatpants, and do not think I didn't notice. I'll post again after my next class, I'm too busy relishing to write about anything else at the moment.

1 comment:

  1. hmmm...a graphic novel character with a snarl would be good...