Tuesday, March 1, 2011

THE incident.

I know this is the second post of the day (I fear I am becoming fanatical), but I have something to share. I really needed to get this off my chest, and is there a better place to disclose utter humiliation than a public blog? I don't think so.

Here it is. Roommates use a lot of toilet paper. I am not home often and don't use much, so when the last bit of the toilet paper I put money into was used up I decided I am not going to put my money into a toilet paper pooling system anymore, I will simply purchase my own and save myself about 5.7 million dollars a month. I also am very sore from a strenuous workout yesterday that was intensified by my gym activities this morning. Ergo, I am not feeling up to walking all the way to the store for this quality purchase. This act is so shameful, but I can't help but center on my need to explain myself. Let me just tell you what happened...

Like a hobo, I stole a roll of toilet paper from the school bathroom...and yes, I am justifiably filled with shame.

The thing is, I promise I'm going to go actually PAY for some tomorrow and I'm also going to stop trying to rationalize this. I am an animal.

I'm sure the best part of this story might be the looks I got from passers-by as I exited the bathroom with an uncomfortably sized bulge under my sweatshirt. I need better clothes for this...like a black ninja outfit.

Was thinking this was a new low but on the other hand I'm fairly certain there are times in my life that I've sunk lower...


  1. I'm reasonably sure that that was the original premise for "The Town".

  2. The only way to relieve your guilt is to make ammends: go back to school and tell them to tack that onto your tab. :)